1 00:00:48,535 --> 00:00:50,537 Well, good-bye, Dr. Hartley. 2 00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:54,643 I'm sorry that you're not sensitive enough to help me with my problems. 3 00:00:56,443 --> 00:01:00,152 Well, urn, I really feel that your nearsightedness isn't a psychological problem. 4 00:01:02,249 --> 00:01:04,195 It's just that you need glasses. 5 00:01:04,251 --> 00:01:06,197 That's ridiculous. 6 00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:10,030 And I know there's a psychologist who can help me, and I'll find him. 7 00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:13,071 No matter what I do, I'll find him. 8 00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,343 - See, that- that's what I mean. - What? 9 00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:21,242 [Elevator Dings] 10 00:01:23,436 --> 00:01:26,815 N-Nothing. Well, good-bye, Mrs. Engelhart. 11 00:01:26,873 --> 00:01:30,320 Good-bye. Hello. Hello. 12 00:01:31,878 --> 00:01:34,586 - Carol. - Over here, Bob. 13 00:01:34,648 --> 00:01:36,594 Yeah, I know. 14 00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:38,652 - Lost another one, huh? - What do you mean? 15 00:01:38,718 --> 00:01:42,996 Oh, well, that's the second patient in two days that hasn't taken your advice. 16 00:01:43,056 --> 00:01:45,036 Oh, no. No. Mr. Milikin was different. 17 00:01:45,091 --> 00:01:48,402 - He liked my advice. He just hated my guts. - Oh. Oh. 18 00:01:48,461 --> 00:01:52,375 Uh, Mr. Peterson should be here by now. Where is he? 19 00:01:52,432 --> 00:01:54,469 - He canceled. - Him too, huh? 20 00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:57,777 - Yeah. - When's, uh- When's my next appointment? 21 00:01:57,838 --> 00:02:02,048 Uh, day after tomorrow at 3:00. 22 00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:06,022 Nothing until then? 23 00:02:06,079 --> 00:02:08,025 Zilch. 24 00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:12,530 Carol, does it seem to you, the past couple of weeks, things have been a little slow? 25 00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:15,465 Oh, Bob, come on. It could bejust a lull. 26 00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:19,698 There's no such thing as a lull for people with psychological problems. 27 00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:25,607 - When's, uh- When's the next full moon? - Oh, Bob! 28 00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:27,611 Now, Bob, listen to me. 29 00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:31,171 Don't you worry about your business falling off. Things arejust tough all over. 30 00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,275 You know, the whole country's in a slump. 31 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:36,549 Okay, Terry, remember, that's a metal retainer, so don't use your electric toothbrush... 32 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,090 and make sure your mother brings you again next Thursday. 33 00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:41,989 Carol, next Thursday we need that thing tightened. See if you can fit her in. 34 00:02:42,048 --> 00:02:45,222 Also order me a dozen new X-ray plates, a gross of cotton swabs... 35 00:02:45,285 --> 00:02:48,289 and, uh, a cheeseburger. 36 00:02:48,355 --> 00:02:50,631 - [E/e vator Ding; ] - Oh,jer. 37 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:54,934 - Yeah? Oh, Stevie andjay. Uh, who goes first there? - Stevie. 38 00:02:54,995 --> 00:02:57,771 - Okay, Stevie, here we go, young- - Hey, Fmjay! 39 00:02:57,831 --> 00:03:00,835 Youiejay! Right. Stevie, right this way. 40 00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:03,438 Uh,jerry seems to be weathering the slump very nicely. 41 00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:07,178 Well, Bob, teeth are different. They're not a slump item. 42 00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:13,015 Well, I think I'll go in my office and slump in my chair. 43 00:03:13,079 --> 00:03:17,619 - Lay would you like something to read while you're waiting? - I don't think so. 44 00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:20,187 You, uh- You want to talk about it? 45 00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:26,203 I'll be in my office. 46 00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:28,762 My name is still on the directory downstairs, isn't it? 47 00:03:28,828 --> 00:03:31,331 - Yes, it is. - Good. 48 00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:40,451 You're- You're sure you don't want to talk about anything? 49 00:03:44,778 --> 00:03:48,157 - Hi, Bob. - Hi, honey. What are you doing home? 50 00:03:48,214 --> 00:03:52,685 I came home to get my sneakers and my binoculars. I'm taking the kids on a field trip. 51 00:03:52,752 --> 00:03:56,700 You know, I haven't been on a field trip in years. Maybe I'll just tag along. 52 00:03:56,756 --> 00:04:00,829 Great. We're gonna look under rocks for night crawlers and salamanders. 53 00:04:00,894 --> 00:04:04,899 - How 'bout snakes? - No, we 're not gonna look forsnakes. 54 00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,411 Then I don't want to go. 55 00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,812 Bob, you want me to fix you some lunch? 56 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:14,147 Yeah. I'll be finished with breakfast in a few minutes. 57 00:04:14,207 --> 00:04:16,153 It's 1 O after 12:00. 58 00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:18,917 I only have eight after. 59 00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:21,983 It's still a little late to be having breakfast. 60 00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:25,860 I got caught up reading the back of the cereal box. 61 00:04:25,919 --> 00:04:28,695 Did you know that Crater Puffs were invented entirely by accident? 62 00:04:28,755 --> 00:04:30,496 No, I didn't know that. 63 00:04:30,557 --> 00:04:33,800 It seems this, uh- this Hawaiian was walking with this ear of corn. 64 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,602 He got too close to this volcano. 65 00:04:36,663 --> 00:04:39,439 Boy, what a way to go. 66 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:43,641 Bob, before I leave, I just want to know- Are you okay? 67 00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:47,173 - What do you mean? - You haven't been to the office for two whole days. 68 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,777 A day and a half. I was- 69 00:04:49,843 --> 00:04:52,756 I left at noon yesterday, and I have Mr. Carlin tomorrow. 70 00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:55,554 Shouldn't you call the office to see if you have any more appointments? 71 00:04:55,615 --> 00:04:58,186 -I called. - And? 72 00:04:58,251 --> 00:05:02,825 - Zilch. - Maybe the whole world has gone stark-raving normal. 73 00:05:02,889 --> 00:05:04,835 - It's just a lull. -Yeah. 74 00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,837 Even geniuses have lulls. 75 00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:11,740 Look at the Wright Brothers. They invented flight, and then zilch. 76 00:05:22,475 --> 00:05:26,753 Uh, operator, what number do you dial for the correct time? 77 00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:31,226 Oh, thank you. That's very nice of you. 78 00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:33,764 L-I guess I was two minutes slow. 79 00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:37,597 I have one of those watches that's only supposed to lose two minutes every year. 80 00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:40,968 And I guess mine decided to lose it all in one day. 81 00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,408 Hello? 82 00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:12,034 [ Man] And so, contestants, the question was... 83 00:06:12,092 --> 00:06:15,835 “What do you thinkyour wife would say is the most obnoxious habit you have?” 84 00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:18,671 - Guy number one? - I'd say, uh, slurping my soup. 85 00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:22,144 Oh, sorry! According to your wife, your most obnoxious habit... 86 00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:25,877 is eating buttered corn and wiping your hands on your pants. 87 00:06:25,939 --> 00:06:28,943 [Contestant] I haven't done that in a long time. 88 00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:32,512 [Woman] Are you kidding? Look at the man's pants! 89 00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:35,082 Aw, come on, honey! 90 00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:38,891 [Pounding] 91 00:06:44,624 --> 00:06:46,729 Uh, Howard, what are you doing? 92 00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:50,866 I didn't know you were home. I'm going out of town. I thought I'd leave a note. 93 00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:54,503 You're hammering tape? 94 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,877 I didn't have a nail. 95 00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:04,344 Come on in, Howard. Where are you going? 96 00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:07,152 It's all in the note here. Here. 97 00:07:07,213 --> 00:07:09,386 Just read that right there. 98 00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:13,624 “Iv.ORD1800. 99 00:07:13,686 --> 00:07:15,927 “Flt. 'I06 AW. 100 00:07:17,190 --> 00:07:20,660 LAX 1930. Ret. Flt. 106 Wed." 101 00:07:22,128 --> 00:07:25,632 Howard, after I read this, am I supposed to swallow it? 102 00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:29,168 Uh, no. That's airline talk for my trip to L.A. and back. I, uh- 103 00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:33,343 What's the matter, Bob? Are you sick or something? 104 00:07:33,406 --> 00:07:36,512 No. No, I just decided to take a couple of days off, you know... 105 00:07:36,576 --> 00:07:40,046 sort of catch up on some important personal things. 106 00:07:41,648 --> 00:07:43,719 What time do you have, Howard? 107 00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:46,389 Uh, 12:22. 108 00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,134 You're a minute slow. 109 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,967 Bob, you're out of work, aren't you? 110 00:07:55,528 --> 00:07:58,338 - Of course not. - Oh, come on. Don't kid me. 111 00:07:58,398 --> 00:08:01,140 I was the same way when I was out of work. 112 00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:05,047 Synchronizing your watch, walking around in your bathrobe... 113 00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,448 reading the labels ofmayonnaisejars. 114 00:08:07,507 --> 00:08:09,817 Cereal boxes. 115 00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:13,085 Bet you're even listening to the soap operas. 116 00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:17,751 Woman On TV] My husband thinks the funniest part of my body is- 117 00:08:17,817 --> 00:08:20,798 - [TVOfi'] - Worse yet- 118 00:08:22,355 --> 00:08:24,301 Game shows. 119 00:08:24,357 --> 00:08:26,963 Howard, I wanted to hear what that lady said. 120 00:08:27,026 --> 00:08:30,303 Game Show Host] Come on, lady. You can't say that on television! 121 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:32,309 Darn it. 122 00:08:33,566 --> 00:08:35,842 Bob, are you sure you're not out of work? 123 00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:38,075 Howard, it's just a lull. 124 00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:41,175 In your profession? I mean, I can't believe that. 125 00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:43,949 I mean, this is the golden age of craziness. 126 00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:48,459 Howard, I guess Vvejust, you know, lost my ability to communicate with people. 127 00:08:48,514 --> 00:08:52,326 Yeah, well, I don't understand what you're saying. 128 00:08:53,853 --> 00:08:57,528 Just remember, Bob- the most important thing is... 129 00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,797 not to lose your confidence. 130 00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,135 When I do, I always remember these words- 131 00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:05,142 “Even if you stink at what you do... 132 00:09:05,198 --> 00:09:09,305 you can always do something else you stink less at.“ 133 00:09:09,369 --> 00:09:13,181 Those are certainly words to live by, Howard. 134 00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:15,241 Those were my cousin's words. 135 00:09:15,308 --> 00:09:19,814 He had 15jobs before he decided to be a tree surgeon. 136 00:09:19,879 --> 00:09:22,359 - And now he's happy? - No, he's dead. 137 00:09:22,415 --> 00:09:25,362 He, urn, fell out of one of his patients. 138 00:09:30,456 --> 00:09:34,905 Thanks for coming down, Frank. I know you're busy, and I appreciate it. 139 00:09:34,961 --> 00:09:39,137 Ah, no problem. Always glad to help a fellow psychologist in need. What's going on? 140 00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,735 Uh, nothing. That's the- That's the problem. 141 00:09:41,801 --> 00:09:43,803 My practice seems to be dwindling. 142 00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:47,147 Hmm. You mean you're down to, like,10,15 patients a day, huh? 143 00:09:49,475 --> 00:09:51,819 Well, let's just say it's been dwindling. 144 00:09:51,878 --> 00:09:55,883 You know, I don't know if it's a series of coincidences or just a temporary lull. 145 00:09:55,948 --> 00:09:58,485 I mean,you know, look at the Wright Brothers. 146 00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:02,226 - Or it could be you. - Or it could be me. 147 00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:05,292 Well, that happens. You know, I talk about that in my book. 148 00:10:05,358 --> 00:10:08,237 Have you read my book, Fires of the Mind? 149 00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:12,610 Uh, I meant to, but the bookstores are always sold out. 150 00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:14,941 Well, wait till it gets off the best-seller list. 151 00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:18,107 Should only be a couple more months. It's brilliant. 152 00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:20,515 Just quoting the critics. 153 00:10:20,573 --> 00:10:22,519 Well, I'm sure it's very good. 154 00:10:22,575 --> 00:10:25,112 No, it's brilliant. 155 00:10:25,178 --> 00:10:29,558 I think the best way for me to help you is to observe you with a patient. 156 00:10:29,615 --> 00:10:32,892 Well, I thinkl can scrounge one up somewhere. 157 00:10:32,952 --> 00:10:37,025 I have a patient coming in in a few minutes- ifl'm not taking up your time. 158 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:41,402 - I'll take the time. - Now, Frank, I-l want to payyou for this. 159 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:44,067 - Oh, come on, Bob. That's not necessary. - Frank, I-l insist. 160 00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:48,101 - I want to pay you whatever you get per hour. - Okay, if it'll make you happy. 161 00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:52,206 - I mean, what can it be- $35? - [ Laughs] 162 00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:58,144 Forty-five dollars? 163 00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:02,224 Fif- Fifty-five dollars? 164 00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,592 Forget about it. just take me out to dinner sometime. 165 00:11:05,651 --> 00:11:07,892 Wh-Where, Paris? 166 00:11:08,888 --> 00:11:10,890 [Intercom Buzzing 167 00:11:11,991 --> 00:11:14,733 - Yes, Carol? - Your patient's here, Bob. 168 00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:16,796 Oh, uh, thank you. Send him in. 169 00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:20,242 - Frank,just give me a minute to tell him you'll be observing. - Fine. 170 00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:22,905 Just let me know when you're ready. 171 00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:24,915 Hi. How are you? 172 00:11:26,906 --> 00:11:28,908 What's the matter with him? 173 00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:33,247 Why'd he say that? Who is he? 174 00:11:33,312 --> 00:11:36,486 Uh, he's a friend of mine, and he's a psychologist. 175 00:11:36,549 --> 00:11:40,156 And if it's okay for you, I'd like to let him sit in on our session. 176 00:11:40,219 --> 00:11:42,961 What is this? Gang therapy? 177 00:11:45,258 --> 00:11:47,898 No. A lot of psychologists do this. 178 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,201 It- We kind of help each other out. 179 00:11:50,263 --> 00:11:54,370 While you're helping each other out, who helps me? 180 00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:56,675 Well, we both do, if you'll let us. 181 00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:01,677 - What do I have to do? -just proceed normally. 182 00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:05,188 If I could proceed normally, I wouldn't have to be here. 183 00:12:07,947 --> 00:12:10,860 Mr. Carlin, would it be all right if he came in? 184 00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:13,864 - I don't care. I got nothing to hide. - Great. 185 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,730 Just don't call me by my real name. 186 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,165 Uh, this is Dr. Frank Walburn. 187 00:12:22,228 --> 00:12:24,731 - I'm Dick Smith. - Hi. 188 00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:28,142 Okay, let's start the session. just pretend I'm not even here. 189 00:12:36,108 --> 00:12:38,019 What's, uh- What's happening? 190 00:12:45,117 --> 00:12:47,859 His time is very valuable- if you wouldn't mind waiting. 191 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,922 Okay, I'll wait. 192 00:12:52,124 --> 00:12:54,604 What about this girl you're interested in? 193 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,606 Amy Hams? 194 00:12:58,531 --> 00:13:00,772 I finally got the nerve to ask her out... 195 00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:03,541 and she wanted to go see Earthquake- you know, the movie? 196 00:13:03,603 --> 00:13:06,413 We wanted to go before dinner because the seats shake. 197 00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:12,053 So I went early and waited in line, and by the time I got up to the box office... 198 00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:14,113 there was only one ticket left... 199 00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:17,184 sol gave it to Amy. 200 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:21,596 And, uh, she came out after midnight with another guy. 201 00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:27,867 She told me she was going to his house to look at his Richter scale. 202 00:13:31,397 --> 00:13:33,570 Can you believe that? 203 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:35,635 Well, I suppose it is possible... 204 00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:39,615 that they're building Richter scales for home use. 205 00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:42,152 - [Intercom Buzzing] - Excuse me. 206 00:13:43,609 --> 00:13:46,419 Yes, Carol. Uh, Frank, it's for you. It's your secretary. 207 00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:48,152 Thank you, Bob. 208 00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:55,289 Yes, Midge, How many patients are there? 209 00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:57,834 Oh. Tell Winthrop to go into my office... 210 00:13:57,890 --> 00:14:01,633 hold two of them in the waiting room, send the other five down to the coffee shop. 211 00:14:01,694 --> 00:14:04,174 Thanks. Midge, you're a peach. 212 00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:08,339 Sorry, Bob. I gotta go. Look, your problem is very simple. 213 00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:12,577 She'sjust making a cheap bid for attention. She's not good enough for you. 214 00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:14,481 I'll fix you up with my secretary. 215 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:17,851 She'll make you forget all about Amy Herbst and any other woman you ever met. 216 00:14:19,011 --> 00:14:20,957 You're a winner, Smith. 217 00:14:21,013 --> 00:14:23,823 You deserve the very best. See you later. 218 00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:26,693 Dr. Walburn? Do you have a card? 219 00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:29,631 Yeah. Sure. 220 00:14:33,025 --> 00:14:35,266 Talk to you tomorrow, Bob. 221 00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:40,204 L, uh-[ Nervous Chuckle] I collect cards. 222 00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:46,275 I know why you took the card, and I understand, Mr. Carlin. 223 00:14:46,339 --> 00:14:48,376 Smith. 224 00:14:58,851 --> 00:15:01,354 Bob. Aren't you coming to bed? 225 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,297 Oh, I'll be in soon. 226 00:15:03,356 --> 00:15:06,860 Don Rickles is substituting forjohnny Carson on The Tonight Show. 227 00:15:08,461 --> 00:15:12,034 - Again? - Yeah. He's interviewing Sir Laurence Olivier. 228 00:15:15,401 --> 00:15:17,677 What could they possibly talk about? 229 00:15:17,737 --> 00:15:21,742 Nothing. Ricklesjust keeps calling him a hockey puck. 230 00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:25,044 You finish the crossword puzzle? 231 00:15:25,111 --> 00:15:28,183 I didn't feel like doing all of it. I just did the “down“ words. 232 00:15:28,247 --> 00:15:31,353 - Mmm. - I'm reading the want ads now. 233 00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:35,559 Did you know you could double your income by learning meat cutting by mail? 234 00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:38,101 That's assuming you have an income. 235 00:15:38,157 --> 00:15:42,435 Bob,just 'cause you lost a few patients doesn't mean you lost your practice. 236 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:44,941 I know, Emily, but, I mean, I have to be honest. 237 00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,999 I've lost a little of my confidence. 238 00:15:47,066 --> 00:15:50,309 - Well, you're not gonna find it in the want ads. - Well, you never know. 239 00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:53,839 I might find something in my own field, you know, like, uh, research. 240 00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:58,377 I mean, watching rats run through a maze and ring a little bell. 241 00:15:58,444 --> 00:16:01,357 Don't need a lot of confidence for that. 242 00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:03,416 I guess they do. 243 00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:05,985 You want some milk, honey? 244 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:10,057 No, I think I'll just put on a torn undershirt and open a can of beer. 245 00:16:12,258 --> 00:16:15,967 Bob, has it ever occurred to you that you could use some help? 246 00:16:16,028 --> 00:16:18,702 I don't have enough to keep Carol busy now. 247 00:16:18,764 --> 00:16:21,904 I mean professional guidance, counseling. 248 00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:25,710 I mean, maybe you should take Frank Walburn's advice and get into one of his groups. 249 00:16:25,771 --> 00:16:28,251 I can't afford his rates. 250 00:16:28,307 --> 00:16:30,651 All right. Then learn meat cutting by mail. 251 00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:34,920 But, uh, don't expect me to go down to the post office to pick up a hindquarter. 252 00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:37,392 Emily, they don't do it like that. 253 00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,930 They just send you steaks and chops, you know... 254 00:16:39,985 --> 00:16:42,591 that you can slide through the mail slot. 255 00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:46,034 Bob, really, why don't you go into a group? 256 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:49,596 - I'm not sure I could take that now. - You've been in groups before. 257 00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:52,905 I mean, you couldn't have gotten your degree unless you'd been in therapy. 258 00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,967 Yeah, but that was during the '50s. 259 00:16:55,034 --> 00:16:59,141 I mean, nobody had any problems in the '50s. 260 00:16:59,205 --> 00:17:02,209 I mean, you never had to worry what Ike was gonna do. 261 00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:06,512 Bob, if you're not gonna do something to helpyourself... 262 00:17:06,579 --> 00:17:09,082 at least let me try and make you feel better. 263 00:17:09,148 --> 00:17:11,651 That's very nice of you, but I'm too tired, Emily. 264 00:17:11,717 --> 00:17:15,426 No, no, Bob. Come here. Bob. Sit down. 265 00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:18,332 You know, when I was a little girl and I felt bad... 266 00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:22,236 my father used to sit down next to me, and he used to put his arm around me... 267 00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:27,039 and he used to sing to me, and I always felt better, you know? 268 00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:29,875 ♪ Around her neck ♪ 269 00:17:29,935 --> 00:17:32,347 ♪ She wore a yellow ribbon ♪ 270 00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,816 ♪ She wore it in the springtime ♪ 271 00:17:34,874 --> 00:17:38,151 ♪ In the merry month of May Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪♪ 272 00:17:42,348 --> 00:17:46,694 - Well, come on, Bob. - Come on what? What do you want me to do? 273 00:17:46,752 --> 00:17:49,892 I want you tojoin me. Sing the “hey, hey, heys“ with me. 274 00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,868 I don't want to sing the “hey, hey, heys.“ 275 00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:55,565 Come on, Bob. That's the fun. Are you ready? 276 00:17:55,628 --> 00:17:57,630 - Yeah. - All right. 277 00:17:57,696 --> 00:17:59,698 ♪ She wore it in the springtime ♪ 278 00:17:59,765 --> 00:18:02,905 - ♪ In the merry of May, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪♪ - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 279 00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:05,574 Waita minute! 280 00:18:05,638 --> 00:18:08,482 What's the matter? ls the key too low? 281 00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,215 No, I'm gonna call FrankWalburn. 282 00:18:11,277 --> 00:18:14,417 I think I'll make an appointment for you too. 283 00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:21,454 - Either of you fellas like some coffee? - No, thank you. 284 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,160 I don't believe I've seen you fellas in group before. 285 00:18:24,223 --> 00:18:27,864 I'm Congressmanjerome Shetland, 30th Congressional District. 286 00:18:27,927 --> 00:18:30,669 Uh, Wayne Hilton, linebacker... 287 00:18:30,729 --> 00:18:32,675 last place Chicago Bears. 288 00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:35,007 No wonder you're in therapy. 289 00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,377 Just kidding. Love those Bears. 290 00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:40,144 Hijerome Shetland, 30th Congressional District. 291 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:43,210 I'm, uh- I'm Bob Hartley, 26th Congressional District. 292 00:18:46,779 --> 00:18:49,123 Thanks, Midge, and thanks for last night. 293 00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:51,388 Oh, my pleasure, Mr. Smith. 294 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,590 - Smitty. - Smitty. 295 00:18:54,653 --> 00:18:58,066 Would anyone like some wine? We have some Cold Duck chilling. 296 00:18:58,123 --> 00:19:00,626 - I'd like a glass of Duck. - Okay, Smitty. 297 00:19:00,693 --> 00:19:04,698 - Jerome Shetland, 30th Congressional District. - Dick Smith. 298 00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:09,102 Uh, is this an office or is this an office? 299 00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:12,149 Sure is, Dick. 300 00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:18,149 Bet you feel kind of funny being down here in the pits with the rest of us. 301 00:19:19,511 --> 00:19:21,957 I really wouldn't refer to therapy as the pits. 302 00:19:22,014 --> 00:19:24,358 Hi. Welcome to the pits. 303 00:19:25,684 --> 00:19:28,426 Hi, Bob. Well, let's get started. Okay, who's up? 304 00:19:28,487 --> 00:19:32,435 - I am.jerome Shetland, 30th Congressional District. - Come on. Can it,jerry. 305 00:19:32,491 --> 00:19:35,233 You're here to get help, not votes. 306 00:19:35,294 --> 00:19:39,640 - How's everything at home? Your kids still hate you? - Two of them do. 307 00:19:39,698 --> 00:19:41,769 The other three like me very much. 308 00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:44,678 That's three out of five- a sizable majority. 309 00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:51,083 Maybe if you spent more time with the kids instead of out hustling votes... 310 00:19:51,143 --> 00:19:53,248 you might get four out of five. 311 00:19:53,312 --> 00:19:55,918 Gee, Frank, don't you think that's a little strong? I mean- 312 00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:59,451 - Hey, Bob. You wanna back off? - l-l'm sorry. 313 00:19:59,518 --> 00:20:03,159 It's just a habit, a kind of conditioned reflex, I guess. 314 00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:05,224 He used to be a shrink. 315 00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:08,905 Excuse me. 316 00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,032 Cold Duck for Smitty. 317 00:20:11,096 --> 00:20:13,167 Right on. 318 00:20:13,232 --> 00:20:15,337 Thank you, Midge. 319 00:20:15,401 --> 00:20:17,347 That's it, Midge. No tips. 320 00:20:17,403 --> 00:20:20,145 Oh, right. I keep forgetting. 321 00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:26,079 Okay. Where were we? Who was up? 322 00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:28,648 I think the gentleman from the 26th District. 323 00:20:28,714 --> 00:20:32,719 - Well, let somebody else be up. - No. Let's talk about you. 324 00:20:32,785 --> 00:20:35,664 A shrink getting shrunk. Now, ain't that somethin'? 325 00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:37,701 You're telling me? 326 00:20:37,756 --> 00:20:41,704 I knew this man when he was at the top of the business. Now? Quicksand. 327 00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:44,897 It isn't quite that bad, Smitty. 328 00:20:46,865 --> 00:20:50,904 - Fvejust lost a little confidence. - I know what you mean. 329 00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:55,112 'Cause if there's one thing a linebacker needs, it's confidence! 330 00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,711 I think I lost mine too. 331 00:20:57,776 --> 00:21:00,484 - Are you with the Chicago Bears? - Yeah. 332 00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:04,323 Your lack of confidence lost me 3O bucks last Sunday. 333 00:21:04,383 --> 00:21:08,593 I used to love to go out there and bust heads and clothesline those guys. 334 00:21:08,654 --> 00:21:13,330 I can't remember the last time I put somebody in the hospital. 335 00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:17,272 - It's just no fun anymore, huh? - Exactly. 336 00:21:17,329 --> 00:21:19,400 If you don't like what you're doing, what are you doing it for? 337 00:21:19,465 --> 00:21:21,877 A hundred thousand dollars a year. 338 00:21:23,202 --> 00:21:25,842 - Reason enough. - Oh, I'm not sure it is. 339 00:21:25,904 --> 00:21:28,578 - If you don't like it, why don't you get out? - [ Wa/burn] Out of/ine, Bob. 340 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,177 This man is conquering his phobias by confronting them. 341 00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:34,884 That's right. I am conquering my phobias by confronting them. 342 00:21:34,947 --> 00:21:39,692 Those are Dr. Walburn's words, but how do you feel? 343 00:21:39,752 --> 00:21:42,665 Man, I don't know a phobia from a face mask. 344 00:21:42,721 --> 00:21:46,760 I mean, all I know is, after the game is over, I get sick to my stomach. 345 00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:51,274 If you can't stand the house, get out of the apartment. 346 00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:55,073 - What the hell does that mean? - I don't know. Maybe it's the Cold Duck talking. 347 00:21:58,370 --> 00:22:01,078 I think I know what he means. 348 00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:03,484 You should try to get in touch with your true feelings. 349 00:22:03,542 --> 00:22:06,113 If you're not a violent man, then don't be in a violent profession. 350 00:22:06,178 --> 00:22:09,682 - But all I know is football. - Well, there are plenty of other opportunities. 351 00:22:09,748 --> 00:22:13,059 I mean,you could learn meat cutting by mail. 352 00:22:15,454 --> 00:22:18,924 Well, I don't know about that, but I always wanted my own flower shop. 353 00:22:18,991 --> 00:22:22,495 Well, look into it. You may have a green thumb. 354 00:22:23,862 --> 00:22:26,502 I don't think so. 355 00:22:26,565 --> 00:22:30,479 Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. This is Frank's group. 356 00:22:30,536 --> 00:22:33,517 I'd like to talk a lot more to you. I hope you'll be coming back next week. 357 00:22:33,572 --> 00:22:37,179 That's really very nice. You give a person a feeling of confidence. 358 00:22:37,242 --> 00:22:39,244 Looks like you're coming out of it, Bob. 359 00:22:39,311 --> 00:22:42,121 Aren't you glad you recognized you were only succumbing... 360 00:22:42,181 --> 00:22:44,661 to an abnormal temporary stress stimuli? 361 00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:47,560 Who wouldn't be glad? 362 00:22:52,024 --> 00:22:54,402 Excuse me, Dr. Walburn, but your agent's outside. 363 00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,703 He has to talk to you about the movie rights for your book. 364 00:22:57,763 --> 00:23:00,767 They wanna make a movie out of my book, Fires of the Mina'. 365 00:23:00,833 --> 00:23:04,042 Yeah, but they wanna change the title to Blazing Brains. 366 00:23:06,004 --> 00:23:09,281 - What would you let them do that for? - Quarter of a million dollars. 367 00:23:09,341 --> 00:23:11,321 Reason enough. 368 00:23:11,376 --> 00:23:15,381 Well, it looks like this is gonna take a little while, so, Bob, why don't you take over? 369 00:23:15,447 --> 00:23:18,792 Oh, I, uh- I don't think I could. 370 00:23:18,851 --> 00:23:22,355 Uh, I will. If it's all right with everybody. 371 00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,630 Well, it's okay by me. How 'bout you, Smitty? 372 00:23:25,691 --> 00:23:29,036 - Smitty? - Huh? Oh, yeah. That's okay. 373 00:23:29,094 --> 00:23:31,904 - Shetland? - Oh, I go along with the majority. 374 00:23:31,964 --> 00:23:34,205 Great. 375 00:23:34,266 --> 00:23:36,212 See you later. 376 00:23:36,268 --> 00:23:39,374 B/azingBra/n; huh?I like it. 377 00:23:39,438 --> 00:23:43,477 Well, now, my technique is a little different from Dr. Walburn's... 378 00:23:43,542 --> 00:23:47,217 but, basically, I believe in total honesty. 379 00:23:47,279 --> 00:23:52,729 So before we proceed, there's an announcement I feel I have to make. 380 00:23:54,052 --> 00:23:56,054 This man is an impostor. 381 00:24:11,303 --> 00:24:14,250 - Hi, honey. I'm home. - Hi, dear. How was your day? 382 00:24:14,306 --> 00:24:16,877 Are you kidding? I had Mr. Peterson at 9:00. 383 00:24:16,942 --> 00:24:20,185 All of a sudden, Mr. Plager walks in. I had to take care of him. 384 00:24:20,245 --> 00:24:22,987 By the time I get that straightened out, it was 10:30. 385 00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:26,723 I had to push both groups back an hour, which meant I had to cancel lunch withjerry. 386 00:24:26,785 --> 00:24:30,062 Sol finally ended up having, uh, peanut butter crackers. 387 00:24:30,122 --> 00:24:33,535 - Bob, all I said was, “How was your day?“ - Oh. 388 00:24:38,797 --> 00:24:40,743 Fantastic. 389 00:25:13,632 --> 00:25:15,236 [ Mews]